Perfectionism, fear, and self-acceptance

There's a pattern in the conversations I'm having in the DMs and on coaching calls with my clients: They already know what they want to be doing and how they want to be showing up online... but for some reason they just aren't able to do it. Why? 

Because of perfectionism. Because of fear of judgement, failure, or making a mistake. 

That's why in this episode I'm talking about how you can overcome perfectionism, take action through the fear, and learn to truly accept and love who you are right now. 

This episode is what can take you from ideas and frustration to ACTION and radical self-acceptance. If you are open, listen, and take action, this one episode could be what changes everything for you. 

✅ When you get to the end of the episode and do the homework assignment I've given you, be sure to tag me on Instagram at @heymegking so I can cheer you on! 🎉

Transcript

0:58

hey y'all. Welcome back to the podcast, mommy Knows Business, where we talk about integrating, mixing, and living life as both a mom and an entrepreneur. I'm your host, Meg. I have two kids, a two and a half year old, and a six month old, and I am really looking forward to the conversation I'm gonna have with you today because it's all about perfectionism. There's a lot of noise happening as I record this, but one of the things I'm really trying to embody right now is not being a perfectionist and just moving through things as they happen. So my dogs are probably gonna bark. You're gonna hear the yard guys, the trash guys, but you know, I have a window of time here where I want to share and record and capture this message. So we're just gonna lean into it and hope that, uh, D script and my mic. Can be a powerful enough combo to eliminate as much background noise as possible. And if not, like we're all humans and I'm sure it'll be okay. So the reason I wanna talk about perfectionism is because I have always struggled with perfectionism, whether I realized it or not. And I'm also noticing a really consistent pattern and trend in the conversations I'm having on the dms on Instagram that I'm seeing people talk about on social media, and most importantly, that I'm having wip. My clients, whether it's a one-off intensive or someone in boxer or an ongoing client or my mastermind, it seems like the root cause of a lot of people's struggles or challenges, challenges or issues is ultimately perfectionism, whether they identify as a perfectionist or not. But when we dig into. Why they aren't taking action on something. You know, we may think we're not taking action because we don't have it all figured out and we need to have a plan or a content calendar, or the perfect website, or the perfect photos or the five year vision and plan. And because we don't have those things, we can't act when in reality that is perfectionism. Because you feel like it has to be perfect. And why does perfectionism even exist? Like what is the layer underneath perfectionism? It's fear. It's fear of making a mistake. It's fear of failure. It's fear of being judged. And ultimately perfectionism is fear. That we just maybe feel a little bit better about because we can say it's because we have a high level of, you know, quality standards for the content or for our team or for our business, And those things make us feel good. They justify, you know, our perfectionism. But if we do go that layer deeper, we are afraid. And that sucks. No one wants to admit that they're afraid. Doesn't feel good to be like, yeah, I'm afraid of making a mistake, or what someone's gonna think. It feels, at least for me, kind of like silly to say that out loud, but it is true. And so the only way to overcome perfectionism is to address the root fear and to not get rid of the fear, per se, because we can't just start there, right? You can't just like choose to not be afraid. That's not how this works, but we have to take action through the fear we have to take action. When we're afraid, when it may not be perfect, when someone might judge us, when we might make a mistake and we have to take action through that, we have to accept ourselves and love ourselves and trust ourselves. In order to do that, we have to be brave and courageous. And I want to empower you to do that because no matter what you believe, like this, you are here. You are here now, and I believe that you have been given an idea or a life experience or a passion or something that you are meant to share. Like you have this idea because you are meant to bring it to life. And. For those of you that are multi-passionate and that could be overwhelming.'cause then you're like, well, which do I start with? And that again is fear of making a mistake. What if there's a better choice out? There is fear of making a mistake. So you can see how this is all related. But in order to not be a perfectionist, we have to acknowledge the fear that's there. And in order to overcome and work through the fear, we have to love ourselves and accept ourselves and truly embrace who we are. Flaws, quirks. All of it. And the only way to really do that, you can do journaling, affirmations, mindset work. I think all of that is so helpful in accelerating the journey. But all the mindset work in the world isn't gonna do a single thing if you aren't taking action alongside it. So my challenge for you today is to start taking action through the fear. With the mentality of loving and accepting yourself, I absolutely know without a doubt. You could post an Instagram story or a reel or a feed post or record a video, or jump on the mic and record a podcast or do anything that you want right now. Like you already know what you need to know. You already have exactly what you need to have. You don't need to buy a new camera or mic or anything like you have all of the resources that you need right now to start. You just have to do it. So you have to just create it and hit post and do it afraid because the only way you're gonna get out of this cycle of perfectionism and fear is through taking action consistently, showing your brain that this is safe, that you are good enough, that you do know enough, that you showing up as you are now. Is enough to make a difference because when you start showing up as you are and people start engaging with you and responding and telling you how helpful that was and how they loved it, and building a genuine relationship with you, it creates this feedback loop with your brain where you're like, oh, I did that, and nothing like terrible happened. And in fact, something good happened and it gets easier and easier and easier, and you start to actually love yourself and accept yourself and. See that by you showing up as yourself, that's actually what's gonna make you stand out. And I know we've all heard it, you've always heard the thing that makes you different is you and people buy from people and people wanna know you. And we can know all that and it can still be very hard to actually do it. But I want you to look at who you enjoy following and consuming the content of and who you pay to learn from. What is it? The people who come across perfect, like they have everything figured out and nothing bad ever happens and every day goes seamlessly. Or is it the people who you can relate to who absolutely still have the experience and expertise and knowledge and credentials to get you where you wanna go, but who are real people who don't speak perfectly, who, uh, have dogs barking in the background, who show up as they are and help you see that you can do this too? That's who I like following. The people I follow show up, however, they genuinely are that day, but they show up and they share and they serve regardless. And they have values that I know because they share them. Like I know more about not just their business or their, you know, personal life, but I understand. The values that they hold and they embody that. I see on Instagram stories that they are walking the talk, and it doesn't mean it's perfect and every day is perfect, but it does mean that I can trust them that they're really doing this. And I think in today's day and age, helping people who follow you see that like you know what you're talking about and you also embody it is the best thing that you could be doing to show them what's possible to build, no like and trust, to build a genuine community of people who enjoy learning from you, that you are impacting and that yes can become paying customers and clients. I've noticed a trend. Within this, that the people coming and working with me have been in my world for several years and are just now coming and work, working with me, but they've been able to know me over the past couple of years, and now with the way I'm showing up imperfectly and authentically and genuinely as myself and embodying the work and showing on Instagram that I'm embodying it. Now they are paying me. Now they are coming to me, wanting to work with me. Now they are ready to overcome their own perfectionism. Now they are ready to take their business to the next level. They are ready to find this new version of business that works better with their life, maybe as a mom or soon to be mom, or some of them aren't even moms. And that's okay. And all of this is because I'm on my own journey of letting go of perfectionism, working through the fear, learning to truly love and accept myself. And I'm modeling that for you, and I'm showing you that it's possible. I'm showing you that it's possible to show up on a podcast with background noise and imperfect words, and an imperfect aesthetic, and just wearing a T-shirt and like being you. And I am excited to be able to model that for you. I am hoping that it encourages you to model and embody your work and values to your audience, and you're never gonna be able to do that if you are stuck in a perfectionism loop. We don't need perfect from you. I'm tired of perfect, perfect as boring. Like I don't care about that. What I care about is getting to know the person. What do you, what matters to you? How do you like to do business in life? What struggles have you overcome? Where, how are you overcoming them? How are you doing things like, what lessons are you learning and what do you do? Like how, how do you do it? What tips can I learn? I mean, this is. This is the work that matters. It's showing up as you are with the knowledge you already have, growing, allowing yourself to grow and evolve. Understanding that your audience, your clients, your students want you to grow and evolve. Who wants to work with someone, a coach, or a mentor who never grows? And all of that is just accepting yourself as you are, showing up as you are right now, knowing that you. Are good enough. Your journey up until now is all perfect. Like we don't need to have regrets. I'm not saying it was good, but I'm saying that like it happened to lead you here and I, I don't really wanna dig into that'cause I know like that's a complicated thought and people have like very traumatic backgrounds. So I'm not really leaning more on the past, but more of just this idea that like, In business, whether you've pivoted or been afraid or shifted or done A, B, and C, it doesn't matter. Like you are here now and you are enough right now, and your experiences are enough and your insights are enough, your resources are enough. We just have to make it work for you, right? You don't need to copy what someone else is doing, but you're enough right now and you are meant to take the next step forward that you want to. You are meant to live bigger, and it is time to ditch the perfectionism, to start the journey of truly loving and accepting yourself, because that is the most freeing thing you can do. It is such a ripple effect. We're talking about it through the lens of business, but oh my God, if you can love and accept yourself for business purposes and then see it ripple out into life, you're gonna be a better mom. Think about the lessons you're gonna impart upon your children to see a mom who loves themselves. I, I mean, that's pretty rare, right? Like a lot of us grew up with parents and moms who didn't love themselves. Imagine your kids being able to see you love yourself and show up as yourself and let that be enough. What a incredible. An incredible thing to model for your children. What an incredible way to live your life that when you go to social gatherings and hang out with friends, or meet new people or are in new experiences, to be able to show up to those loving and accepting yourself. So yes, we're talking about it through business, but wow, the, the benefits of starting this journey are beyond our comprehension. So, Let's start the journey. If you're listening to this right now, I want you to do something. As soon as this episode ends, I want you to take some type of action through the fear and easy action could be posting on Instagram stories if that's not something you do a lot or if you usually do it very curated. You could post on your Instagram feed, whatever social platforms you like, a TikTok, a Twitter, whatever Twitter's called now. You could hop on the camera or a mic. You could like send that email you've been waiting to send, you know, whatever it is. I want you to take an action today to start proving to your brain that you're enough and to start the cycle of healing this fear and perfectionism, and starting to genuinely love and accept and trust yourself, and trust the journey and understand that there is no such thing as a mistake. You're gonna take the best next step that you can right now and trust that that is the next step you need to take to learn the lessons that you are going to learn to then take the next step. And it's okay if that means changing your mind. It's okay if that means pivoting. Okay. We learn through action. You have to take the first step to learn what you need to learn, to take the next step, to continue to do this basically forever. Like that's, it's one step at a time. Today, I want you to take the first step, whatever that is, if it's posting on Instagram stories, that you are now opening up one-on-one client spots, and for people to send you a DMM if they're interested. Hell yes. That's all you need to know. You don't need to have a checkout page ready. You don't need to know the logistics yet. You just need to put it out there and start talking about that. This is you, how you do things. If it's you putting your face on social media for the first time, maybe without being like picture perfect, like yes, like. Whatever it is for you today, you're, you're starting this journey, you're taking this action, and I want you to tell me when you do it, whether like pre preferably on Instagram,'cause that's where I hang out the most. So like, shoot me a DMM on Instagram at hey me king, or post about it on Instagram stories and tag me or send me an email or whatever. But I wanna know that you're doing this. I wanna cheer you on. I wanna support you. If you tell me when you do it, I wanna come over and react to your Instagram story or leave a comment on your caption or do whatever. Because this is the beginning of the next phase. This is how you start showing up bigger in your business. This is the key to unlocking every single thing that you feel is out of reach or that you are struggling to do or struggling to take action on. It starts here. It starts with loving yourself and taking the action despite being afraid and by deciding to be brave instead and wow. I can't wait. I'm so excited for you. We are on this journey together. I am constantly channeling this same energy in my life too. So please know I'm not sitting here being like, I've recovered from perfectionism. I am doing exactly what I just told you to. I'm accepting myself in this moment as I share this message to trust that it's enough. I'm trusting that when I put it out there, whoever needs to hear it is going to hear it, and that is, Like I'm doing my part, I'm creating, and I can't control the rest. So I'm doing my part. I'm trusting with every business decision that this is the right next step for me now. And if I take action on it and realize it's not, or I wanna shift, I'm giving myself permission to do that, to learn from it, and to grow from it. And that is exactly what I'm meant to do and what you are meant to do. And I am so excited for you. This is the beginning. Let's go. I can't wait. I'm so excited for you. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, please leave a rating on iTunes or Spotify or wherever you listen to this. And send me like a message on Instagram, send me a DMM or share about this on your Instagram stories and tag me. I really, really value your feedback. It helps me know that this is something that you are enjoying and that's worth my energy here because I really enjoy it and I, I hope you do too. So that feedback is so incredibly helpful and I really, really appreciate it. So, Thank you for listening. I will see you in the next episode, and I can't wait to get that tag from you or that DMM that you've taken action today. I can't wait. I'm so excited for you. Thanks.